wide boy 64

have you ever looked at an n64  and thought, "wow, if only I could play game boy games on it!". well, the wide boy 64 (yes, that's its real name.) can do just that, if you were a member of the video gaming press in the late 90's...

the wide boy 64 was a device made by intelligent systems, the same people who made the wario ware games. it could allow you to play Gameboy and Gameboy color games on a Nintendo 64. it was a lot like the game boy player for the gamecube, but let you take screen shots. this was mainly marketed at the press, and you could not purchase it at normal stores. like the Gameboy player, it had a border that mimics the Gameboy color. so why did it not catch on until the Gameboy player came out?

first of all, you couldn't even buy it from a normal store, since it was made for developers.  it also cost over $1200 to buy, so it was much more easy to just buy both on their own. you were better off waiting a few years to get the game boy player.

so, did it change gaming? not at all! it was too expensive, and was only sold to a few people. so the lesion here is: don't make something that can play games on another system if it costs more then both of them!

pixter

kids wanna play games, but sometimes they can be too intimidating. just look at tetris! you have to line up the block things to make more lines of block things, and don't get me started on rotating them! that's why the fisher price (the company who made most of out childhood toys.) Pixter(s) was made.

released in 2002, this behemoth was released multiple times, some with color, some with more built in games. it used a touch screen with built in pen, used for such thrilling built in games like drawing, drawing on backgrounds, drawing on faces, and connect the dots (these games may be too intense and graphic for some kids). the manual has the audacity to call these games "fun"! but what about the games? you had such game of the year nominees like Arcade, Dino draw, art safari, action art, and sports (wow, creative names). there were licenced games too, but who cares when you can play just grandma and me!!!

so why didn't we line up at the Pixter booth at E3 to play the new games? well maybe because they made like 25 of the dang things! I mean, who's heard of a company making the same system again just with better graphics? that's just unrealistic (oh wait...)! also, I'm sure the games were bad. with such titles as pet shop and learning fun, you don't expect Breath of the Wild quality here.  maybe also, because the thing was made for 3 year olds who's parents who wouldn't let them play call of duty (a small minority).  so what's the lesson? don't get invested in toys for toddlers! 

Sega Card

picture from segaretro.org

cartridges. love 'em or hate 'em, they are an important part of gaming. but Sega didn't think so! they thought that credit card sized rectangles of plastic were the future of gaming! so what exactly was so special about the sega card?

the cards were positioned as cheaper alternatives to cartridges. they cost less to make and buy, although ironically many of them ended up being rereleased on cartridges later. many more games were made in this format in Japan, but the UK and USA got some exclusive games in sega card form. the sega card format sounded like a good idea on paper; make budget games on a cheap format, but sadly it did not work out...

the cards could only hold up to 32KB of data. this was small, especially when developers wanted to make bigger and bigger games. cartridges could expand and hold more data, and even include battery saving. most of the big games were being made on cartridges, and sega discontinued it in 1989.

one interesting fact I learned is that small children tried to eat the cards. the first thing I thought of was how the Nintendo switch Cartridges were coated in a chemical to prevent that. did Nintendo learn from sega? was the Nintendo switch predicted in the 80's? the answer is, most likely, no.

Lazerscope

picture by Wikipedia.org

what is it with the NES and head powered controllers? first the hands free controller, and now this X-wing pilot reject helmet? the Lazerscope was made for the game Lazer invasion,but worked with any game that used the zapper light gun. so why did this end up being forgotten?

the head set's gimmick (although even that sounds too praising) is the fact that it fires the zapper when you say the word fire. if your idea of fun is wearing a lump of plastic and shouting "fire" at your tv, then this is for you. it also worked as head phones,so that is probably the best part about it. a crosshair went over your eye for aiming, and I presume that your head would have to move around to aim properly.

it comes to no surprize that this never caught on. the microphone was too sensitive, leading to nearly anything remotely loud setting it off. I'm sure most gamers would not want to move your head and shout to play games, but virtual reality is being praised as the future despite these two things being very similar. did the lazerscope predict the future? that's for you to decide, since I'm too lazy...  

NES hands free controller

image from Kotaku.com

Ever wanted to play some Ninja Gaiden or Contra, but you can't use your arms? well, If you were that concerned, then Nintendo had the answer! the hands free NES controller, unleashed on the world in 1989, and was made for people who couldn't use their arms (although I'm pretty sure you would need arms to get the dang thing on). let's see how this thing worked...

The D-pad was replaced with a chin-operated joystick (never thought that was a thing...), since that would need "fingers" and stuff  like that. by shaking your head you could play video games! VR has nothing on that! but what about the buttons? you, get this, sucked and blew on a straw! clearly, the most accurate way to play your games! the thing hung around your neck, and besides being a potential safety hazard, made you look like a sci-fi 50's b-movie reject wandering the Hollywood backlots. so, why did this never catch on?

besides the fact that you controlled games with a straw, the device cost 120$ in 1989, and I'm sure most people didn't know about it. the market was too niche to attract most people, and most parents wouldn't even consider video games if little jimmy's arms were broken. speaking of arms...

Nintendo has a new game, not sure if you know about it, know as Arms. since the game revolves around your arms, I feel like this is discriminating against people who can't use their arms! I petition Nintendo to make a hands free controller for Arms! who's with me? no one? why do I bother...

Sonic 3 & Knuckles for the PC

Almost everyone knows about Sonic 3 & Knuckles. with its wonderful gameplay, great graphics, and a soundtrack that may or may not be made by Michael Jackson, its hard not to love it. But what if I told you there was another version? one similar to what you know and love, but with a twist that gets more interesting the deeper you dig? I'm talking about Sonic 3 & Knuckles for the PC.

released for PC's in 1997. it is basically the same, with only a few changes. the most noticeable is the music, which has been altered for certain zones. Carnival Night, Ice Cap, Launch Base, Knuckles' theme, a menu theme and the credits all had new music. It is thought that this is because the MIDI format could not emulate certain sound clips, even though the PC would be more then powerful enough  to run a Genesis game. there is a more common theory, one involving  Michael Jackson,  an unreleased 80's song, and a composer's discography.

A few interviews by people who worked on the game clamed that Jackson did the music, but it was removed. later, similarity's were noted between sonic 3 songs, and some that Jackson did. Carnival Night zone and the song Jam share a few notes, and even share some audio samples. the credits and the song Stranger In Moscow sound very similar in the beginning. The biggest example, is Ice Cap Zone. Smooth Criminal and Ice Cap sound very similar, but it doesn't stop there. the unreleased song Hard Times bears more then a resemblance to Ice Cap, Its basically the same song! Brad Buxer helped with the sound track, and also was in the band that made that song. if that's not enough, then one of the composer's discography lists levels 2  and 3 from Sonic 3 as being made by Jackson. if you compare what was changed in the PC version with what sounded similar to Jackson's music, then you will notice that the 2 lists do overlap. coincidence? I think not!

Although Michael Jackson did the music, we have to ask why it was removed. one interview said that the Genesis wasn't powerful enough to get the music right. it "devalued" his music. and with that, I have to ask: Did you even play the game?! 

  

Sega Master System 3

Brazil is a strange place when it came to retro gaming. the Sega Master System was king, despite North America and Japan forgetting about it as soon as it was out. The company Tectoy was king there, and made many versions of Sega systems for that market. Even after the Master System was discontinued, Tectoy was still making new systems like the Master system 3!

The Master System 3 was released in 2008, and had no cartridge slot. instead, it relied on it's 131 built in games. As the name implied, all but 1 of the games are for the Master System. For some strange reason, Sonic Drift 2 for the GameGear is included, likely due to the similar hardware between the 2 systems. The 2 controllers are modeled after the Sega Genesis controllers, although only 2 of the buttons are used. Sonic the Hedgehog is on the front, likely for brand recognition, although Sonic doesn't have a big a presence as you may think...

The games are your typical Master System staples. Games like the Alex Kidd series, Battle Outrun, and Sonic the Hedgehog are all on it. one of the more interesting games is Baku Baku Animal. That game was originally for the Sega Saturn, but Tectoy made a version for Brazil on the Master System. The games are not that special, and it has no exclusives.

If you were going to buy a Master System, don't buy this one! Due to the fact that you cant use cartridges, and that it was only available in Brazil, its honestly not worth your time. its a neat collectable, but nothing else...